Psalm 139 is a psalm of complexity and contradictions. It is comforting and intimidating, personal and universal, supremely earthly yet completely otherworldly. It speaks to our overwhelming desire to be seen and known, led and taught—and our crippling fear of the same.
The psalmist, purportedly King David, lays out the facts as they understand them. God knows everything about each of us: our movements, our thoughts, our words—even before we know them ourselves. God hems us in, anticipates our actions, and redirects as needed. No matter where we flee, God is there: in the heights, in the depths, at the farthest corners of the universe. No matter how much we would like to hide from this fearsome and awesome presence, we cannot, for even the darkest nights shine like the day in the presence of God.
Yet there is the comfort. God is brighter than any darkness, more loving than any hate, and more forgiving than we could ever deserve. And so, the psalmist decides not to flee or hide any longer, but to welcome God in to search and know, to test, to root out all the pain and evil and wrong inside, and to lead on to the way everlasting.
“Even There” was composed for and premiered by a gathering of dear friends under the direction of the composer at his senior composition recital in St. Olaf College’s Urness Recital Hall on April 29, 2016.
